Regret
by Alyxs
Summary: Regret...perhaps the most distressing word of the English language. How many have felt it? How many will feel it? It is certainly a very disturbing feeling, the feeling of loss, longing, heartbreak...


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Author's Note: It's not romance between Link and Saria or Link and Navi. It's just Link's feelings on what has happened (Ocarina of Time) and of what will come. (Majora's Mask) It's a little bit sad, but it isn't too depressing. Shouldn't scar anyone for life. ( This is the first fanfic I've posted on fanfiction.net.) By the way, I know this seems really stupid, but what exactly does R&R mean? I see it on every fanfic!  
  
Disclaimer: I'm actually just copying everyone else with this. I've never done a disclaimer before. In general, I take it that I just say: I don't own Zelda. Well, I do own the game, but not the person Zelda. Wait, I'm not expected to say I don't own every character, am I? That'd take forever...

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**Regret**

When I was younger, I thought that there were so many things wrong with my life. I had no friends, no skills, no objects or items of personal value…

No fairy.

Perhaps that was my main problem. Loneliness. At first, I thought there was something wrong with me. Did I not deserve a fairy? And then I began to feel jealousy. Why didn't I have what everyone else had? A friend, a companion, strength…

Mido…

In some ways, I hated the boy. In some ways, I pitied the boy. But mostly, I was green with envy. We lived in the same village. We wore the same clothes. I felt that I was even better looking than him. So what was there to envy him for?

In the world, it is the strong that survive. I was not the strong.

My only comfort was my best and perhaps only friend, Saria. Every night, before I went to bed, I would whisper to myself that Saria had chosen me over Mido. She had chosen to play with me, instead of the leader that everyone loved. Hey, even I loved him. Loved to hate him.

I would feel unfair because Mido was stronger than me, and everyone liked him better. I would feel pride because Saria had chosen to play with me.

But then, I was very young. Young enough and foolish enough to think that the emotions I was feeling, the injustice of being without a fairy…that they were _problems._

Now, I feel as if it was stupid of me. It wasn't stupid, not really. It was just naive, and ignorant of me. Feelings of unfairness, jealousy, pride, boredom...even loneliness, were small things that mattered to a little boy living in a place he didn't belong. They don't matter anymore, of course.

I have since learned that other feelings are much more important. Regret, for instance.

Sometimes, I regret ever taking the sword of the Kokiri forest. If I hadn't opened the chest and picked up my first sword, my first weapon, would I be who I am today? Would I have entered the Great Deku Tree? Would I have left the safe haven that I had called home all my life?

But usually, I regret every choice I had ever made. I regret every living thing I had ever killed. I regret ever letting Ganondorf place his filthy hands on the Triforce. When I was younger, I thought about Saria before I went to bed. Now? Now I think about whether or not I made the right choices.

I know things that no one else could possibly know. I have seen things that I wouldn't wish for anyone to ever see. I have experienced things that no boy my age has ever had to, because I was a man before I finished being a boy. I have held a sword in my hand, and killed. I have played a song on my ocarina, for the sole purpose to pleasing my horse. And I have played someone else's lullaby, to tell myself that I wasn't alone. And I was never really alone. I always had my fairy.

Funny. I had come to think of her as my fairy, though she wasn't, not really. And a part of me knew that. I had always known that I would have to let her go someday. So perhaps the thing I regret the most is saving Hyrule. Because if I hadn't, would Navi be with me, still?

I have everything that I had always wanted. I have an ocarina personally given to me by Saria, I have my sword, my shield, my clothing, my bow and arrows, bottles, weapons…even masks! I have my faithful companion, Epona, my horse.

But some things never change.

I am still missing the fairy that changed my life. The one who was there when I was struggling to defeat a monster I had never seen before.

And I still have nightmares.

So maybe this quest for Navi might be another choice I will come to regret. But at least I know now, that the feelings I had so long ago were foolish and nothing. Al least, now I know the worst feeling in this world.

It is the feeling of losing something, and forever searching for it.


End file.
